My Grandmother's House by Kamala Das

The original name of Kamala Das was Madhavi Kutty. She was born in 1934 and died in 2009. She wrote under the pen name of Kamala Das. Kamala Das was married at a very early age. Her husband motivated her to write poems. Her autobiography is called " My Story". She received the Sahitya Akademi Award in 1985. She is called the mother of 'modern English Indian poetry'. 

The poem moves around the theme of love, death and loss. The poetess is sad. She is unhappy. She remembers the house of her grandmother. The house is so special to her. It was the same house where she once received love. 

However, her grandma died leaving the poetess alone in the world. The house became silent after the death of her grandmother. Nobody lives in the house. Snakes live in the house. The house has a library. The library has many books. But the poetess was so young that she could not read these books. The death of her grandmother was a shock for the poetess. Her blood turned cold like the moon. Here the poetess uses a simile to convey her emotions. 

In wild despair, the poetess wants to go back to the house of her grandmother. She wants to see through the windows. She would like to listen to the sound of frozen air inside the house.  She will bring an armful of darkness from the house of her grandmother and keep that darkness behind her bedroom door. She will sit beside that darkness like a brooding dog. The brooding dog is not a happy comparison. 

Kamala Das is now talking to her husband. She says to him that he will not believe that she once lived in such a house where she was loved and cared for . She was proud of her days in the company of her grandmother. But today she has lost her way. Today she has become a beggar begging ,not for money, but for love at the doors of unknown people, at least in small change. Thus, in the end, Kamala Das makes a confession of her sins.